Wednesday, July 21, 2010


i watched Humpday like a week ago.

it's about two best friends who haven't seen each other in years (one's now sorta straight-laced & married, the other kinda rugged adventurer-type still) and, after hearing about a local porno festival in town while drunk/high, decide that they need to do one themselves.. starring each other.. having sex with each other.

it was supremely awkward

and not just because it was two 'straight' dudes trying to have sex, but two best friends crossing a threshold that most men don't. i say men because i don't know anything about women but from what i've gathered from teen sex comedies, girl best friends make out all the time. but it's weird actually because two male friends crossing the line between friend and sex-friend is a lot more common among queer dudes. i say queer because i don't know anything about gay dudes really.

anyway this movie got me thinking about how it's a really crazy phenomenon what kind of sexual subculture exists within the MSM (Men who have Sex with Men) community. partly what makes this such a crazy phenomenon is how oblivious most everyone is to it.

i'd surmise that majority of american society finds dating websites to be pretty tacky - especially for those under 30. but it is terribly popular for guys to look for other dudes on dating websites ('snot so easy to go out to any ol' bar, see someone attractive, and hit on him without asking him discretely "do males tickle your fancy?"). another crazy part exists in that all of these dating sites, each and everyone that i've seen that is dedicated to men finding other men, has at least some substantial faction of users who are interested in fucking, sucking, hit it & quit it, sugar daddies, master/slave, i'll pay you fifty bucks to let me blow you but please dear god be discrete because i'm actually straight & married.

just check craigslist!

# of ads posted on July 20 (the night i watched the movie) in...

Women seeking Women: 6
Women seeking Men: 8
Men seeking Women: 7
Men seeking Men: 56

WUT! it's incredibly interesting though, one could teach a college course on it - call it Sexual Subcultures in the MSM Community. i'd take it!

anyway, where i started with all of this: Humpday.

this movie was even awkward for me. found myself half-covering my eyes and laughing out loud just to fill the silence of two best friends trying as hard as they can to kiss and not be revolted with each other. and that's really what makes the movie so awkward. how revoltingly unappealing it is for most men who DON'T have sex with men to even THINK about having sex with men - let alone your bff. i had a 4th of July party at the house and played gay porn (it was a subtheme of the party!) in the basement behind the DJ booth and most everyone refused to dance or even go near the basement until the porn ended.. and even then most continued to call it the "gay sex dungeon." dungeon?

do any people remember the early 2000's internet trend of Hot Topic girls with black hair & nail polish and MCR tees decorating their myspace pages with animated .gif's telling everyone how much they love to see boys kissing?

yeah, that definitely did not help at all in terms of fighting the idea that "having sex with men" is some sort of counterculture.

geez where am i going with this, i am so bad at focusing. basically this is my point. what we have is a male-dominated society (duh). objectification & sexualization of the male by another figure of power [another male] is a threat to that (double duh).

taken from there, all's i'm saying is homosexual bedroom practices have existed for so long absolutely hidden out of absolute fear. nowadays most intelligent people feel like having sex with men is not a big deal as long as they don't have to actually hear/know about it. and the idea is so ingrained (and still driven) in to the minds of MSM's that this sex isn't quite right that it's... mostly done in the shadows.

the idea is so strong that a guy having sex with a guy is subversive.
gay guys are cooking up meth in Florence and selling it to some john they met on or
even the names of these websites seem ridiculous. and they are. but people seriously & actively use them.
even more ridiculous?'s chat rooms are filled with nearly nothing but sex offers.

when homosexuality is such a sticky subject, it's easy to identify first & foremost as gay queer msm bisexual whatever. and, when you identity first & foremost with the kind of sex you're having then it only makes sense that two best friends who like each other a whole lot naturally end up having sex. you're a guy. i'm a guy. we like each other. let's fuck?

in conclusion:


girlfacedana said...

your friend Thomas, does he makes 'zines?

à noite said...

yes. yes he does.